You Homeschool, Don't You?

It's the question that every homeschooling parent dreads. This time was no different. I was sitting on the couch in the library at church when one of our parishioners, Judy, a college professor, asked me, "You homeschool, don't you?"

A small knot formed in my stomach. Since moving to our new home here in the frozen tundra of northern Mississippi, I had been asked that question a great many times, and mostly by people at church. Episcopalians, it seems, are not hip to homeschooling. A couple of teachers in the congregation even tried to persuade me that the school system was tops in the state. Hey, why not put the kids in? How do you answer politely and not offend? I am certain that these folks were well intentioned. In general, I have no problem responding to open hostility over the homeschooling issue, but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

However, on that Sunday morning, when Judy sat down beside me and asked me the question, I felt a little queasy. You see, I really liked Judy, and I was hoping that I would be able to continue liking her.

"Well, yes, I do," I told her. She told me about how she likes to have homeschooled students in her classes. She said that they are articulate and well read. She had noticed that they can understand references and know how to write, that they were eager to learn, and not burnt out on school like their peers. She said that she could have a conversation with them.

Sometime during our discussion, a gentleman came in and inserted himself into our conversation. "But what about their social skills," he asked?

"You've obviously never met her children," Judy told him.

I went home from church and cried. It was the first time ever that someone had told me I was doing the right thing. There were no maybes, no qualifications, just an atta girl. I'm glad you're homeschooling. Others, my family and friends, have certainly been supportive of my efforts. Some have been down right helpful. (Thanks, Mom!) But no one had ever said the words, "I'm glad you're homeschooling." I never realized how much I needed to hear them, until someone did.

So, do me a favor. If you have a friend who's homeschooling her children, drive over to her house and tell her she's doing a good job. She'll really appreciate it.

Just don't forget to bring a hankie.

Comments

[Dana]

Now that is cool! And guess you get to go on liking Judy, huh?

[Activities Coordinator]

Dana, how right you are. Judy's my BFF for that one!

Hi, Judy! How's life on the mountain?

[Summer]

Mr Put Himself in the Conversation must not have been paying attention. If she was thrilled she could have a conversation with them obvioulsy the homeschool kids weren't the ones lacking social skills.

[Activities Coordinator]

Hi Summer,
I think he just heard the word, "homeschool," and his brain short-circuited. It happens sometimes, you know.

[Christy]

What a blessing, that just does my heart good.

[Stephanie]

It is wonderful when someone does that--my husband's uncle recently retired from the public school system where he spent 30 years as a German teacher (he came over from Germany as a kid after the war, actually) and since he absolutely gave himself over to his kids (he and his wife have no children of their own), I always thought he'd be against it. Boy, was I wrong. He pulled me aside during one visit and told me that he was so glad we were homeschooling, that he'd seen such a downward spiral in the system over the past 30 years that he was relieved that we would take on teaching our own kids. His wife was listening in on our conversation and added her agreement. I was almost in tears myself by the end of that conversation--so I do know how you felt, and I haven't even started homeschooling yet (I have a 2.5 year old and 10 month old.) I already am very protective of how I present our decision because people display various weird reactions if you mention it.

[Sunnymom]

Linked here from the current COH. I am glad that you and Judy can stay friends. ;)

My dh was doing a job for a gentleman who is retiring from being a rep for Holt Rhinehart, and when dh (a little tentatively)told him we homeschooled, the man couldn't say enough nice things about homeschooling. He gave us all his sales copies of current textbooks (and I am thinking what in the Sam Hill am I going to do with *those*?) but what a sweetie, and such an encouragement.

[Angela]

What a thoughtful post! I indeed to do just that with my homeschooling friends. About the comment on Episcopalians, yes, they tend not to be as supportive of home education. Too bad, especially given the intellectual tradition of the denomination.

[Activities Coordinator]

Quite a few church members have made comments about homeschooling. I think that it is just that they are really tied to the educational system, as opposed to education. My priest, however, reminded me when he and I were discussing this issue, that it is never easy to be a pioneer.

That's me! The Episcopal homeschooling pioneer. Quite the revolutionary!

[Fatcat]

How wonderful. I like Judy too now. ;-)

[Marsha]

Came here after a google search for "Episcopalian homeschoolers" and thrilled to have found at least one other family! We're not actually homeschooling yet but the plans are in the works. It's been interesting to have received so many suggestions to look for support from church when mostly what we get there are blank stares. And our priest is a former elementary school teacher so... well, let me just say again how glad I am that I found you!

[Cathy]

I am an Episcopalian and a public school teacher in special education. I told my children when I retire and if they live close by, I will be glad to homeschool their children. I see the benefits and I know what kind of job I can do for them! Kudos to you - glad to know there are other Episcopalians homeschooling.

[Activities Coordinator]

We're few and far between, Cathy! I think it's a good thing that you're willing to take the plunge and increase our numbers!