Life On The Planet

The Logic Escapes Me

18 year old admits she skipped school when visiting Mom. Now that she's a adult, her Dad is going to jail because she flunked one section of the GED. 

A Homeschooling Joke

Q: How do you know when homeschooling regulations are too severe?

A: When you have to flee to Iran for educational freedom!

Ha, ha, ha, ha, uh...um...hmmm...

Wait,...that's not funny.

Who's writing this stuff?

Reason to Homeschool #457

A ten-year-old in Florida was suspended for ten days for bringing a knife to school to cut the steak that was packed in her lunch box. While the school administration said that she did not use the knife inapproriately, due to the one size fits all policy, the police had to be called.

"Anytime there's a weapon on campus, yes, we have to report it and we aggressively report it because we don't want to take any chances, regardless,..."

While I understand the administration's dilema (on one hand there is the need for safety, on the other hand there's that pesky thing called common sense), my question is this... What do the cafeteria workers use to cut food? And if they use knives, why aren't they in handcuffs?

That may sound like a silly question to you, but I bet it doesn't to the parents of the girl who is now facing felony charges for cutting her steak with a knife.

Oh, Bother!

News alert from the Big Woods:

• School system sued over dress code.
• Tigger socks costs system $95,000.
• System bans honey in vending machines after bear gets stuck in hole.

(Okay, I made that last one up. But the rest is true, I promise!)

For more details, head over to Consent Of The Governed.

You have GOT TO BE KIDDING!

I thought it would be fun to rate my blog. Just for giggles, you know?

So, this is my rating...

I got a PG RATING. Why? I'll tell you why. I used the following obscene words in my blog...are you ready for this?...SLAP, LIMBS and SHOOT.

Oops! There I go again.

Well, wash my mouth out with soap.

Geez.

A Mother's Rant or What's Wrong With Our Nation

The Butterfly wants a plaid skirt. It's a simple request, really. She didn't ask for an IPod or a lap top or (heaven forbid) a pierced belly button. The girl just wants a plaid skirt, one like Nancy Drew.

Today we went to buy her a plaid skirt. First stop, J.C. Penney's. There were no plaid skirts in girls and only mini skirts in Juniors. When I say mini, folks, I mean MINI. Dental floss comes to mind. Oh, and by the way, J.C. Penney's has an extremely limited supply (try non-existent) of size zero clothing in Juniors. Also, what I saw did not impress me. Penney's class is slipping. Strike one.

Next stop, Gordman's. We found exactly what she wanted, in size six misses. Did I mention she's ten? Strike two.

On to Dillard's we went.  The sales people there were very nice, which was a pleasant change from Penney's and Gordman's, but again, nothing in children's and no size zero in Juniors. Once more, I was underwhelmed by the selection. I don't need Little House on the Prairie, but why not add a little more material? Would it affect the profit margin that much? Strike three.

I was down but not out.

Our last ditch effort was Justice for Girls. We found a plaid skort.  Think handkerchief. It's fall, people. Even if she would feel comfortable in it (which she wouldn't) and her parents would let her wear it (which they wouldn't), it would still be too short. It's fall.

Four stores and no skirt. Off we go to Hancock's Fabrics.  En route we spot Old Navy. Why I wasted my time, I cannot tell you. My blood sugar was rock bottom, and my feet hurt by then. That's my only excuse. Finally, to Hancock's we go.  Have you seen the Hilary Duff pattern collection? No? Drive to your local fabric store and share my horror. Maybe I wasn't clear on this but she is ten years old.  We leave with a very nice purple plaid and a women's size eight pattern that Grandma has promised to cut down to size for us.

Here I am, an exhausted mother, pleading with you, my five faithful readers. Write Congress. Call out the National Guard. Take out a full page ad in the New York Times. Shout it from the hill tops that we are in the middle of a national crisis. If this is what a mom has to do to dress her daughter decently, our nation is in serious, serious trouble.

All she wants is a plaid skirt.

In your dreams, kid.

Have you been to a child's birthday party lately?  No? Go. Read. Be appalled.